Who needs TV Satire Shows? You have the bush administration.

Below are the top phrases which will make you roll on the ground laughing if you think in advance that it comes from a tv satire show instead of the White House.

#1 “ The territorial integrity and borders of Georgia must be respected, just as those of Russia or any other country”

Who say it: President Bush on August 26th, 2008.

What he forgot to say: “Except if your country have oil and we need it, and except if one of our strong allies need your territory, in that case, it doesnt matter. But as Georgia don’t have oil, then you must respect the territorial integrity and borders of Georgia.”

#2 ” There’s no room for debate on this matter. The United Nations Security Council has adopted numerous resolutions concerning Georgia.”

Who say it: President Bush on August 16th, 2008.

Short Version of what he forgot to say: “It’s an order, not a rational argument, so please don’t debate”.

Long Version of what he forgot to say: “No debate means we are not going to discuss about why we a few months ago ignored resolution 1.244 concerning Serbia and recognized anyway the independence of Kosovo against a UN Security Council resolution. So please do what we say… it’s an order, not a rational argument”.

I swear I tried to find a better title for at least ten minutes without luck.

#3 ” No cause can justify the deliberate taking of innocent human life — and the international community is nearing universal agreement on this truth.”

Who say it: Bush on the last U.N. speech on September 23th, 2008.

What he forgot to say: … and by “nearing universal” I mean it doesn’t apply to civilians killed in the fight against terrorism. If you are fighting terrorism, killing 90.000 civilians in Irak or 20.000 in Afghanistan  do not count as taking innocent human life. After all, they lived in the same country of those terrorists so each civilian killed is one less chance of a civilian became a terrorist.

I’m seriously considering stop watching the colbert report or the daily show. After moscow answer to georgia attack on South Ossetia and Abkhazia, most (if not all) western media outlets started to disseminate washington view on the issue. That was something really expected as they usually do that, until here everything sucked but it sucked like always so no reason to write about it, more of the same shit.

But suddenly the light came…the whitehouse statements on the Moscow response and the unilateral recognition of South Ossetia and Abkhazia as independent states were… how to say it… insulting to the world intelligence.

Not only the statements, but the way it were printed on all worldwide news without almost no one saying “hey, that’s insulting”, they just print it like a serious news… first I was angry, then I laugh, then I was angry again, then I decided to find a simple way to accept this and not generate further bad feelings: The bush administration has put a feet into Satire tv news, they plan to compete with Jon Stewart & Stephen colbert. That’s the real answer.

As soon I found some free time I’ll put more funny quotes from bush, I’m sure there are and there will be plenty of statements, at least until nov 2008.

Translations: No Translations Available

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