Archive for October, 2008

programming video kill dash nine

Monday, October 27th, 2008

The Lyric:
I guess I’ll have to shut you down for good this time,
Already tried a SIGQUIT, so now it’s KILL DASH 9.
You gotta learn when it’s time for your thread to yield;
It shoulda slept; instead you stepped and now your fate is sealed.
I’ll take your process off the run queue without even asking
‘Cause my flow is like reentrant and preemptive multitasking.
Your sad rhymes are spinnin’ like you’re in a deadlock,
You’re like a synchronous sock that don’t know when to block;
So I pull out my keyboard and I pull out my glock,
And I dismount your girl and I mount /proc
And I’ve got your fuckin pid and the bottom line
Is that you best not front or else it’s KILL DASH NINE.

KILL DASH NINE,
No more CPU time.
I run KILL DASH NINE,
And your process is mine.
I run KILL DASH NINE,
‘Cause it’s MY time to shine
So don’t step outta line or else it’s
KILL DASH NINE!

See it ain’t about the Benjamins or Pentiums or Athlons,
But you rappin’ 50 meters while I’m spittin’ in decathlons.
Your shit’s old and busted, mine’s the new hotness;
You’re like CLR and I’m like CLRS.
You’re running csh and my shell is bash,
You’re the tertiary storage; I’m the L1 cache.
I’m a web crawling spider; you an Internet mosquito;
You thought the 7-layer model referred to a burrito.
You’re a dialup connection; I’m a gigabit LAN.
I last a mythical man-month; you a one-minute man.
It’s like I’m running Thunderbird and you’re still stuck with Pine,
Which is why I think it’s time for me to KILL DASH NINE.

Yeah it’s KILL DASH NINE
No more CPU time.
‘Cause it’s KILL DASH NINE,
And your process is mine.
I said KILL DASH NINE
‘Cause it’s my time to shine,
So don’t step outta line or else it’s
KILL DASH NINE!

My posse throws down like leaky bucket regulators;
I was coding shit in MIPS while you were playing Space Invaders.
With my finger on the trigger I run ./configure
Yo, this package is big, but MY package is bigger.
I roll my weed with Zig Zag while I zag-zig splay,
And I do a bounds check before I write to an array.
I’m a loc’d out baller writing KLOCS a day,
‘Cause it’s publish or perish, fool, what can I say?
I’m 26 now, will I live to see 28?
Some days I wonder if I’ll survive to graduate.
But hey, that’s just fine, I won’t ever resign,
And if fools try to step then it’s KILL DASH NINE!

Yeah it’s KILL DASH NINE,
From my command line
It’s KILL DASH NINE
Sending chills down your spine,
I said KILL DASH NINE,
‘Cause it’s my time to shine,
So don’t step outta line or else it’s
KILL DASH NINE!

fs sa rlidwka
I’ll chown your home and take your access away
Comin’ straight outta Stanford, ain’t nobody tougher,
Control-X, Control-C, I’ll discard your fuckin’ buffer.
You’re outside your scope, son, close them curly brackets,
‘Cause I drop punk-ass bitches like a modem drops packets.
Dump your motherfucking core, and trace your stack
‘Cause where your ass is going, there won’t be no callback.
See my style is divine and my code is sublime,
My career’s in a climb and yours is in a decline.
I’ll write a pound-define and assign you as mine,
So refine those sad rhymes or remove your plus signs,

Or it’s KILL DASH NINE,
No more CPU time,
‘Cause it’s KILL DASH NINE,
And your process is mine,
I said KILL DASH NINE
‘Cause it’s my time to shine,
Bitch you stepped outta line and now it’s
KILL DASH NINE!

Translations:

How to avoid long page load when using Jquery Plugins

Saturday, October 18th, 2008

Introduction

jQuery is great. But the best is the that you can use tons of jQuery plugins for each amazing functionality you want to provide. And you can implement it right away without spending a couple of months doing javascript web development and all the pain in the ass that means (even when Jquery makes your life easier regarding that).

But then comes one problem:, you want autocomplete plugin for some forms, you want blockUI plugins for the ajax calls, you want ClueTip plugin for nice tips/help when people submit forms, you want the form plugin to submit your forms through ajax and if that wasn’t enough, you need to load a 4kb js file full of code to provide some amazing functionality.

That’s great, your site kick ass, but your page takes some times between half a minute and a minute to load, and worst: when someone leaves your page, the browser needs at least 10 seconds to be able to leave your page thanks to all the js code you put over it.

In this article you will find a simple solution to that problem, that works great (at least for me). The only js requirement on my systems are: jquery library & jquery blockUI plugin. Any other plugin/js code I need, I only load it on demand, when the user really need it, and I make that user wait when he want that functionality for the first time, instead of make every user wait even when they don’t need that functionality.

Read more…

Translations:

Introducing John Walter from the Office of National Drug Control Policy

Saturday, October 18th, 2008

At first I though it was a joke until I realized he was serious about it.
Today Reuters Published declarations from John Walters who is the director of the U.S. War on Drugs, that is the director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy.

He warned parents about the dangers of kids as young as 13 watching videos online about people getting high on dope. According to him this encourage kids to do that. As usual with the war on drugs, the first objective is Fear, so below are top two phrases from him found on that article:

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Translations: No Translations Available